US reviews junk patents
The US Supreme Court began to hear the first case on junk patents to reach the legal stratosphere; essentially, the Supremes will consider just how "obvious" a patent idea has to be before the US Patent Office turns it down. Junk patent owner Carlos Armando Amado of Guatemala sued Microsoft for eleventeen containers crammed with money because Microsoft links Access database and Excel spreadsheet data just like the gizmo he invented. The US government charged a website owner with child pornography because he used models that looked young, in poses that were "illegally provocative," and none of them nude.
Britney Spears dumped K-Fed with a text message, caught on video and of course at YouTube. Prime Minister Matti Vanhanen, who is also Finland's sexiest man, dumped girl friend Susan with a text message; like they say on WWE rasslin', he had two words for her: "That's it."
The British telecom regulatory agency Ofcom announced it was mulling whether to just kill off AM and FM radio entirely; no one listens to that stuff any more, and Ofcom could make much better use of the VHF Band II spectrum than some 100-year-old radio broadcaster.
Just to provide that feeling that you aren't really at a live event, the organisers of the $2.8 billion Asian Games in Qatar used the world's biggest LED screen to show the ceremonies to the 50,000 spectators who were in the stadium to see the ceremonies.
Belgians served waffles when Google came to talk about lifting stories from the press for Google News access; two of five newspapers and chains agreed to let Google resume the service, but it wasn't known if Google paid them off. Google closed down Google Answers, the first major failure by the irresistible force since they went public; it was a major victory by Yahoo Answers over the bigger rival.
Speaking of Yahoo victories, Google asked... no, strike that, Google demanded in court that Yahoo hand over details of how it searches books in order to make them digital; Yahoo told Google to take a long walk off a short pier, and the judge agreed with Yahoo.
YouTube (translation: new owners Google) signed a deal to allow Verizon yuppiephone owners to see videos on their mobile phones - but only the videos that are hand-selected, which shows neither Google (owner of a failed video site) nor Verizon understands this video stuff at all. As the price for getting into the World Trade Organisation, Russia agreed to shut down Allofmp3.com and any similar non-Hollywood-authorised music sales sites.
The very idea - said the US National Institute of Standards and Technology - that voting machines without a paper audit are secure, dependable and democratic is the weirdest, dumbest idea around; repeat, in actual, plain English: Direct-record electronic, (DRE) systems "in practical terms cannot be made secure" because results simply cannot be independently verified.
If you think your cable- or pay-TV service is horrible, consider the service Jack and Emilie Wilson got from Comcast cable-TV company in Huntington, Indiana; the cable installer ran the ground rod through their gas line, which exploded and took their entire house - oh, and killed a utility worker and Emilie.
Microsoft shipped Vista operating system to its biggest business customers, at least the few that will switch immediately; the unflappable and always reasonable Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer called a tasteful, intimate press conference at the Nasdaq stock exchange to explain: "This is the biggest launch in the company's history. That's for sure." Yes, that offer from (PowerTogether.com) was actually from Microsoft, and yes, Sir William of Gates actually gave away free Microsoft Windows Vista and Microsoft Office suites for watching three seminar videos; but they only gave away 30,000 and you missed it.
Due imminently for those who update their Windows XP security: A new version of Windows Genuine Advantage Notifications, as Microsoft calls its crippleware.
Advanced Micro Devices cancelled its planned laptop for kiddies, called the low-cost, sealed-case Personal Internet Communicator, that was to be so cheap even people in low-class countries can afford it. Advanced Micro Devices announced it will step up production of the low-cost Geode processor that are cheap enough even people in low-class countries can afford them to power their Microsoft Windows computers.
The Highly Coveted Quote of the Week Award and accompanying Occasionally Liftable Authentic Lead-and-Iron Trophy went to Bill Watkins, the CEO of hard-drive maker Seagate Technology, formerly Thailand's biggest private employer and still an important industrial concern with thousands of Thai employees, who said: "Let's face it, we're not changing the world. We're building a product that helps people buy more crap - and watch porn."
US District Court Judge Dale Kimball threw out 187 of the 294 SCO claims that IBM used copyright code in Linux; SCO likely will fail, go bankrupt and disappear (and no one will sympathise) because of this ridiculous three-year lawsuit, during which SCO has never showed a single line of supposedly copyright code.
Technology research firm MetaFacts discovered 46 per cent of Mac owners are 55 and older, although Apple Computer denies that the "G" in G5 is for "Geriatric". Finally the failed adware writers wrote iAdware for Mac users; it downloads secretly, installs silently and opens up unwanted browser windows rudely and obtrusively, just like similar programs do for Windows.
Researchers discovered another potential Mac OS X vulnerability; the US Computer Emergency Response Team said the problematic way in which Macs handle damaged disk image (.dmg) files rated "serious" attention because it could allow arbitrary code execution, or cause a denial of service; not every expert agreed on the severity of the problem - although it is serious because there is no solution. Apple Computer issued Security Update No 007 for Mac OS X 2006, but it only contained fixes for 31 of the hacker-friendly holes, and there are a lot of others to go.
Disneyland Hong Kong introduced tickets activated by fingerprints; to avoid privacy problems, just part of the print is actually used.
The Anderson County sheriff's department in Tennessee turned off their 24-hour webcam showing life inside their jail; the program was simply too popular, said Sheriff Paul White, with security and privacy implications; on the Thanksgiving weekend, the webcam had 1.2 million hits.
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