Have Reasonable Expectations from Your Children
Expectations are important in life as they form the foundation of our conduct and behavior. Parents have expectations that form a vague picture of what their children should grow up to be. These expectations are formed unconsciously from our own wants and desires.
As parents, you have to pause and evaluate your expectations from your children once in a while to see if they are reasonable or not. It is, of course, very difficult to come to any definite conclusion about them, but you must try to have positive and reasonable expectations otherwise there will be frustration for all concerned.
How do you know if an expectation is reasonable? The first thing to do is research. Does it seem like a lot of work? It just might be. Parenting isn't easy. You make it up as you go along, based on the foundations and parenting advice left to you by others and your own heart to guide you.
When you decide whether an expectation you have for you child is reasonable, you have to be as objective as possible. Look into what the established child behavior guidelines are for your child's age. If the established guideline is that children don't develop full sentence speech till they are at least a year old, expecting a full sentence out of your six-month old isn't a responsible expectation.
Children cannot be compared, and it is one of the most common mistakes parents make when they compare their child with the neighbor's. If your child happens to be average in studies, try your best to help him improve but learn to accept it. All children are not born to be geniuses. Your child might have some other talent; look for it and develop that instead of harping on grades.
Frustration is the other side of the coin of expectation. Unreasonable expectations will lead to serious disappointment. Allow your child to grow freely within the accepted framework of society and don't impose unnecessary standards that must be achieved. This way, you will automatically cut out child behavioral problems.
Of course, you must set reasonable expectations in child behavior or child discipline in different areas. After that you should formulate a set of goals and hold to them. Let your child know when he meets those expectations by rewarding him. This will help you take him further on the road to success, but at his pace, not yours.
Often times, having had the success of reaching and meeting the first expectation, your children will be able to meet that higher expectation. The biggest thing to remember is to not push your desires onto your children. If you were never good in sports but you wanted to be the star athlete of your school, to make that dream come true, don't push your child to be a superstar against his or her will. Also, don't force your child into athletics just because he or she is good at it. That's placing your expectations from your past onto your children. That only creates a negative environment, child behavior problems and child discipline issues. Reasonable expectations promote growth and positive self image and are an essential parenting skill.
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